Privacy intruded?

Few days ago, Hannah threw a tantrum during lunch. She's done it a couple of times before, refusing to eat & crying very loudly. So we decided to let her cry in her seat until she calmed down while we continued our lunch.

If you have ever heard Hannah cry, you would know how absolutely deafening her screams can be. And how persistent & long too.

We ignored her cries, hoping to teach her that she could not have her way. That’s when the neighbour's house helper (who also works for us in the afternoons) walked over. She was at our front door, and we could hear her saying "Oh Hannah... you're crying so loudly!"

Immediately, a sense of annoyance welled up inside me. "Leave us alone! It's none of your business!" I thought in my head. I didn't verbalise them of course, but I was annoyed at the fact that our privacy was intruded, especially at such a time.

David opened the door, but she quickly said “It’s OK. I just heard Hannah crying & thought I’d come over to see what happened.” My level of annoyance subsided. She wasn’t trying to interfere – she was just concerned for Hannah!

This experience reminded me of the story that Marilyn Schlitt told in her book “Deprived or Privileged?” Following is an excerpt:

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Raising children in a different culture than one’s own brings its own set of difficulties. One day Amy seemed to be having a particularly bad time. Nothing was going her way, and she resented that. As I had an errand upstairs, I put her in the playpen for safety. Her screams could be heard for several blocks, I knew, but I decided that I would attend to her when she had calmed down.

All of a sudden her bellowing stopped! What had happened? Had she hit her head and gone unconscious? I raced downstairs. There stood my neighbour from across the street, holding Amy with a pleased look on her face. “Your baby was crying, Ate [big sister], so I came in to help!”

Amy was no longer mad, but her mother sure was! How dare my neighbour interfere like that! Didn’t I have the right to raise my child the way I wanted to? The book, Have We No Rights? by Mabel Williamson, helped me.

I always thought I had the right to privacy and to raise my children as I thought best. Or did I? Was my way always the best or right way? Was I so perfect as a mother that only I knew what was best for my child? My neighbour had feared that something was wrong and came to help only out of concern.

This was the beginning of the release of my tight hold on my children. Yes, God had given them to us to care for and nurture. We do have that awesome responsibility. But does that mean we alone are to be the sole teachers and guides? Can our children learn and benefit from others?

Marilyn Schlitt "Deprived or Privileged?"

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